Falsecast

Monday: Paul Arden
Tuesday: Sean Geer
Wednesday: Carlos
Thursday: Viking Lars
Friday: Whipfinger Ben
Saturday: Mystery Guest
Sunday: God

The Contents Page

Are you a Sexylooper?

We don't quite have the pics ready for Roy's latest article on trout fly design however here's a pic of last week's EasyPeasyUSD.

Today I was asked what it's like to be bum and how it works on a day-to-day basis, which is a fair question I suppose. I have three types of day: there's the backcountry-fishing-on-my-own day, there's the hook-up-with-friend-through-'loops let's-go-fish day and there's the more typical Sexyloops' day...

11am get up, have pee and shave head (I don't always shave my head but I always have a pee - although it may not be 11am by the way; that was just a wild guess)
11.30am (long pee) drive to Sandfly Cafe and buy a flat white (no sugar)
11.36am go online, check the Board, skim my emails - only answer one or two - write front page and upload.
14.02pm although it could be much later - do something exciting, such as go for a run.
15.37 (no need for the pm, since we're using a 2400 clock system, that's always important to remember when you don't have a watch) Tie some fluff and I may eat something, although probably not.
16.09 No I'm not constipated. By now I hope to have answered some emails and I may have checked the Board again, even if it's just to annoy Frank by telling him that there is a triple haul and that he's an arse.
Later If it's a Sexyloops' workday (yeah right) I'll go fish the evening. Here's what happened last night...

2 hrs to dark See a pretty girl and smile at her on the way to the river. She smiles back but I'm wearing gumboots, so that could have been it. Carry on down to the river.
Slightly later Decide to fish the lake thinking, "this'll be good".
Later still Realise it's not.
Twenty minutes to dark Decide to fish around the lake a bit, but on the way round I peer over the dam to check out the river.
10 seconds later I fall down a bank in my haste to get to the river - it's going off.
First cast 4 lb brown takes Lars' Polysedge - fish going mental - spinners everywhere - why they take Lars' Polysedge is a mystery.
Second cast 3.5 lb brown.
Third cast ok, it may not have been third cast, it *could* have been the fourth, but probably not - another brown around the same size.
Dark Put on headlamp.
Next 20 mins Land another 3-4 fish, curse myself for missing the best of it, congratulate myself in finding it at all and wonder if I should tie on a black woolly bugger?
23.30 ish Back to Red Herring, drive off and park on hilltop to answer emails.
23.40 Strange woman drives up in her van and tells me I can't sleep there.
23.41 I tell her I have no intention of sleeping; the night is young. She buggers off.
00.30 I'm cooking dinner. Mushrooms, peppers, onions, rice, seasoning and beer.
02.30 Lying on top of Red Herring staring at the stars thinking about fish and women.
02.31 Fighting mosquitoes.
02.32 Back in Red Herring, chopping up pictures for today's PoD.
4.30 am Go to bed early because I want to look beautiful tomorrow.

Bet you're pleased you asked, Richard.

Cheers,
Paul

Disclaimer: all times and events are completely ficticious. I may not even exist.